Dear Diary,
It finally happened. It is not as if I didn't see it coming, I just never imagined that it would happen this fast or in this manner. I can hardly say I am impressed though...I mean Broadway Tunes...really? I can't believe someone thought that was a good idea? If she wanted The Best of Broadway, I could have helped her out. After all, I do have space for nearly 100,000 songs of my own. Hello!
Who cares anyway. I don't want that smut taking up space on me. Richard Gere in Chicago...John Travolta in Hairspray...fiddling on roofs...a bald headed King (and I)...pink ladies...Oklahoma...Julie Andrews...and that girl from Destiny's Child whose mother sews all her knickers...please!!! None of them are worthy of praise. At least when compared to my catalog. Try Beethoven on for size. Ever heard of Bach? How about Mozart or Chopin. Does Gershwin ring any bells? Ohh and there is my personal favorite...Haydn. All classics that need no introduction. But Broadway? My lady lives nearly 3000 miles away, how often does she get to New York City to see a show? Moron.
Sorry. I am a little testy tonight Diary. It is just that it looks like I will never get to share anymore of those evenings I so enjoy, like when me and my lady used to stroll along the Thames while she held me in one hand and nestled a cup of hot tea in the other. Or the times when she would curl up next to the fire in palace with me on her lap, savoring the soft whispers of her favorite spoken english authors. Gone. It is all gone. Well maybe I will get lucky and Harry will be my new caregiver. Although, I can only imagine what he will make me do. I dread the thought.
Broadway. I've been replaced by Broadway. What sort of self-serving, no-nothing would give someone like my lady such immature rubbish as an important gift? I bet it was someone that doesn't understand the importance of a sentimental gesture. At least the cowboy gave her a rare collection of documents that were supposedly bound in the National Archives when he visted two years ago. I hear one of the letters was from an old President named Teddy and it was addressed to my lady's dad...King George. The funny speaking cowboy also gave her a gold statue with her name engraved on it. Now that was class!
I guess I am bitter though. No one likes to be replaced. It is getting late Diary and I still need to watch the American Idol results show I recorded on TiVo. I just love that Simon Cowell. Hopefully next time I will have more uplifting news to report. 'Til then...
Sincerely,
The Queen of England's Old iPod
0 comments:
Post a Comment